The Harmony of Letting Go
- Boruch Meir "Meyer" Greenbaum
- Jul 20
- 9 min read
A moment in Miami reminded me why we should record everything. In business and in life.
Note: A glossary of Hebrew, Yiddish, and cultural terms appears at the end of this post for readers who may want definitions or context.
It’s now Motzoei Shabbos.
The house is quiet. I’m relaxing on my porch on a lightly cooled and deliciously crisp California summers late evening.
My kids and Grandkids have left, after spending the day with me, on a long lazy Shabbos afternoon with the family. Roza gets back Monday morning from Israel.
I got my Shabbos afternoon nap in. For sure the best Shluf of the week for me.
I turned on the phone to check in with the world, and the screen lit up with a WhatsApp message from a cousin.
📱 The Ping from the Past
“Hi Boruch! Hope all is well! Super random but any chance you have the videos you took of my family two years ago by Ezzy’s birthday? I lost all my Whatsapp videos, and I’m trying to collect whatever I can from that night…”
“Hi Rivky. Do you remember the date?”
“June 23 2023.. if you have your old WhatsApp messages, you can scroll up. It’s in our chat”
“Btw, thank you so much for having Shoshana a few weeks ago, I know you were not home, but she was so appreciative of having a place to stay!”
“Our pleasure!”
I looked through my photos and was excited to see that I still had the recordings, which I immediately forwarded to Rivky.
I opened up the first of four videos from that special night.
And I got swept back.
🌴 South Beach, Florida — June 2023
It had been a long day.
I had been standing on my feet for many hours, walking miles of trade show halls. Shmoozing, learning and catching up with industry colleagues, manufacturing partners and friends from around the world at the FIME Medical Product Conference, held annually in sweltering Miami, at the Convention center.
I had just finished a boozy dinner with some business partners and I realized that I had a few hours to spare before my flight back to LA that night.
So I called a very close cousin living in Miami to come say Hi. He told me to come over to his brother Ezzy’s house for his birthday, I think it was his fortieth. They were having a party.
I headed over, parked, and sheepishly let myself in to a room filled with what I assumed were Ezzy and Rivky’s close friends. Some sat, some stood, some wandered. Decadent delights sprawled across multiple smorgasbords. The lights were gently dimmed.
I’m always uncomfortable in large settings, especially when everyone is a stranger.
I continued walking, looking for a familiar face.
And then I saw my cousin Dovid.
👀 Dovid’l
Every time I see Dovid’l, as I refer to him. I smile.
He’s a delicious and perfect soul.
Smart. Thoughtful. Loving. Pure. Just like his parents.
We smiled and headed towards each other, and along the way, I see Ezzy and Rivky, whose faces lit up in surprised and appreciative smiles.
🧬 The Family Ties
Ezzy and Dovid are my wife’s first cousins from South Florida.
As kids they were inseparable. I have known them for the better part of 27 years.
🕍 Jerusalem — 1999
Roza and I were spending our first year of marriage, living in Israel.
We were renting a small but clean and well situated apartment close to the Old City.
We had been away for Shabbos, and had let Ezzy and Dovid, who were both in Israel at the time, crash at our place for the weekend.
As we entered the apartment we saw that the boys had left already, but they had left evidence of themselves everywhere, with half of their stuff left behind, toiletries, a cozy sweater, a pair of sweaty teenage undies…
And that’s how I remembered Ezzy.
All over the place. Everything. Everywhere.
Always smiling.
Over the next 20+ years I had seen him a few times at various family events, but I didn’t know him or his life very well. I couldn’t have picked his daughters out of a line up, that’s for sure.
I had had more to do with Dovid’l because over the years we had looked into a number of business deals together, and also his wife’s family lived down the street from us so they would intermittently visit Los Angeles for Yom Tov and family Simchos.
🤝 “What’s up Dave?”
“What’s up Dave?” I said to Dovid’l as we embraced in a big deep loving hug.
“All good, you know. What’s brings you to Miami?” He asked.
I told him how I had flown in the day prior from New York and had been at a trade show in Miami and was soon heading to the airport and had stopped by on the way.
“Nice..What was in NY?”
I opened up about a legal dispute I had been locked in at the time for nearly a year. It had come out of left field, sucker-punched me horribly, and I had been struggling. Financially, personally, and held terrible hatred in my heart for those who I felt had been responsible.
It had been weighing heavily on me and I had decided to stop in NY for 2 days, to spend time at the Rebbe’s Ohel before heading to Miami.
🕯️ Ohel, Pain, and the Mikve
I had arrived in JFK late afternoon and headed straight to the Ohel.
Baseball cap, T-Shirt and Jeans. I’d eaten on the flight.
Once there, I wrote a Pan, where I voiced my struggles and my need for a Brocha. I spoke of my struggles with hatred.
I decided to take the time, for the first time, to complete the entire Maane Lashon.
It took a while.
When I came out, I washed my hands, grabbed a cookie, sipped some coffee and headed straight for the foyer where I was hoping for some inspiration.
I sat there..
Nothing.
The Rebbe was saying a Sicha about something that had no meaning for me. Wasn’t what I was hoping for. Something inspirational. To miraculously turn things around.
Nothing.
I got up to leave, and as I was collecting my things and ordering an Uber a young Lubavitcher Chossid, came in, hair lightly dripping from the Mikve, wearing a Kapote, Gartel and mumbling Tehillim.
I recoiled in horror.
“You shtik drek” I chided myself. “This yungerman wasn’t even alive on Gimmel Tammuz. Never stood for dollars. Never experienced Farbrengen, a Tekiyas Shofar or a Napoleon’s march, but he understands that when he comes to the Ohel, he is not going for a quick fix. He is going in to his Rebbe for Yechidus. He has fasted. He went to the Mikve. He comes dressed as a Chossid. With humility. With intention”
I felt ashamed of myself.
🔁 Return to the Ohel
I drove to Crown Heights to sleep at my sister’s home and fell exhaustedly in to bed, after guiltily gorging on Prime Avenue Chinese food.
I had scheduled a couple of meetings for the next day looking for directional advice from some friendly faces.
When I woke up the next morning, I called my breakfast meeting and told them that I wouldn’t be able to make it.
I headed back to the Ohel instead and went straight to the Mikve.
I Davenned Shacharis, learned Chitas and wrote a new Pan. I didn’t ramble on this time. I spoke to the Rebbe in plain English.
“I feel trapped. I need a solution”
I picked up the English Maane Lashon this time. Said every word.
Stood for a while.
and walked out.
📖 A Sicha That Broke Me Open
As I sat down in the foyer. The Rebbe was saying a Sicha.
I don’t know which year or what the occasion was but to the best of my memory, the Rebbe said the following words (not verbatim, but to the best of my recollection).
אהבת ישראל איז אהבת האדם, און אהבת האדם איז אין עיקר אהבת עצמו. אהבת ישראל גייט אויף די מענטשן וואס מען קען, און אויך אויף יענע וואס מען קען ניט. און עס גייט אויף יענע וואס מען מיינט אז זיי האבן געטאן שלעכט, ווייל אהבת ישראל איז אהבת עצמו. און דער כסף, דער זהב, און די אבנים טובות וואס דער מענטש זוכט — געפינען זיך אין זיך אליין, דורך אהבת ישראל.
Love of a fellow is love of man, and love of man is primarily love of one’s essence.
Love of a fellow applies to the people one knows, and also to those one does not know.
It applies even to those one thinks have done wrong, because love of a fellow is love of one’s essence.
And the silver, the gold, and the precious stones that a person searches for are found within themselves, through love of a fellow.
I was overwhelmed with emotion and clarity.
“Who is getting hurt by my hatred?” I asked myself. “Is it the people who I’ve been hating on? It’s not. It’s me. I’m the one carrying the hate with me. Poisoning me. Weighing me down.”
“And so”, I finished up my story to Dovid’l “Now I’m here. I don’t know why it’s happened, or where it’s headed, but I’m letting go knowing that it’s all going to be good.”
🎤 The Music Begins
Dovid’s face looked like it had seen a ghost.
He was paled and took a moment to get to himself.
“Boruch, you have no idea how much I needed to hear these words. I have been similarly in a dispute that has weighed heavily and I’ve been struggling in deciding which direction to take…and this crystallized it for me. Thank you!”
We hugged and music began playing behind me.
I turned to see Ezzy standing with a mic in his hand. His wife Rivky, elegantly poised on a chair, strumming a guitar, and his two daughters, the eldest standing behind a full length microphone and the other behind her, sitting at a piano.
And they played together, voices and instruments blending in perfect harmony.
A beautiful quartet
of love.
of Joy.
of Nachas (the Jewish word for Heaven on Earth).
of family.
I recorded a few minutes of what apparently became an all night affair, on my phone.
I wish I could have stayed longer, but I had to catch my flight, so I said my goodbyes and drove off.
Dovid’l and Ezzy were now grown men, with accomplished careers, wonderful spouses and beautiful families.
They were no longer the sweaty teenagers, I had once known.
✍️ Reflections
As the last and longest video played out, I messaged Rivky to let her know how happy I was, that the moment in time had been captured, and we looked forward to celebrating with everyone in September for a family wedding.
🇲🇽 Cozumel & Continuations
I saw Dovid at a recent family wedding in Cozumel. During that weekend I commented on his very obviously changed appearance and he mentioned that it was connected to the story I had told him of my visit to the Ohel at Ezzy’s 40th party.
We made up to learn together once a week.
I have stood him up twice already. My travel has been heavy.
We are going to start this week.
The first thing I’m going to do is ask for the full story since that night in Miami…
📹 Record Everything
Record everything you can. In business and in life.
It’s why video and audio is such a centerpiece of the Platform Partners ESaaS model.
Moments in time are precious
Shavua Tov
It should be a good week for us all.
📘 Glossary of Terms
Shabbos / Shabbat – The Jewish Sabbath, observed from Friday evening to Saturday night, a day of rest, prayer, and family.
Motzoei Shabbos – The evening following the end of Shabbat (Saturday night), often a reflective or transitional time.
Shluf – Yiddish for “nap” or “sleep,” often used affectionately.
WhatsApp – A global messaging app commonly used in family and community networks.
Simcha – A joyous celebration or event, often referring to a wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, or birth.
Ohel – Refers to the resting place of the Lubavitcher Rebbe in Queens, NY, visited by many seeking spiritual connection or blessings.
Pan – A written prayer note traditionally left at the Ohel, asking for blessings or expressing personal struggles.
Brocha – A blessing, often spiritual or practical in nature.
Maaneh Lashon – A compilation of heartfelt prayers traditionally said at holy sites, especially the Ohel.
Shtik Drek – Yiddish for “piece of dirt” or “you pathetic thing.” A harsh, self-deprecating expression used here internally, expressing a moment of personal shame or rebuke.
Yungerman – A young married man, typically a Torah scholar or someone immersed in religious life. Often used with respect in Chassidic and yeshivish communities.
Chossid – A devoted follower of the Chassidic movement; in this context, a Lubavitcher Chassid.
Kapote – A traditional long black coat worn by Chassidic men, especially on Shabbat or special occasions.
Gartel – A belt worn by Chassidic men during prayer, symbolizing separation between heart and lower body (mind and desire).
Tehillim – Psalms, often recited for healing, gratitude, or spiritual elevation.
Farbrengen – A Chassidic gathering involving song, stories, Torah insights, and spiritual encouragement.
Chitas – Daily learning program that includes Chumash (Torah), Tehillim (Psalms), and Tanya (Chassidic philosophy).
Nachas – A deep joy and pride, especially from children or family, often described as “Jewish heaven on earth.”
Yom Tov – A Jewish holiday.
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