Chuppa Etiquette: What I Learned About Seeing the Best in People

Thank G-d, it’s been a full week.

Three weddings.

Three different cities: Simi Valley, Cozumel, Universal City.

Friends, family, new faces, lots of joy.

Each simcha had its own flavor, its own pace, its own stories.

But one moment stood out.

At one of the chuppas, I was sitting next to my brother-in-law and found myself quietly frustrated.

People were wandering around.

Laughing.

Chatting.

The chuppa was happening and half the crowd wasn’t even watching.

Having made two weddings myself, I leaned over and said: “I can’t believe the chutzpa. They know what goes into this? The cost, the effort? Why can’t they just sit down and respect the moment?”

And then the MC announced the reading of the Rebbe’s letter. The traditional blessing from the Lubavitcher Rebbe that’s read under the chuppa.

Immediately, silence.

Everyone stood.

Everyone turned.

You could hear the Rebbe’s voice.

You could feel the shift.

That’s when I got it.

These weren’t rude people.

They were friends and family who hadn’t seen each other in years.

Some flew in from out of state and overseas. Some came on ferries and buggies.

They were catching up. On life, kids, work, stories.

They weren’t ignoring the simcha.

They were the simcha.

But the moment the Rebbe’s words began, everything changed.

Because people knew this wasn’t just tradition.

The Rebbe cared.

Deeply.

His blessings weren’t just ceremonial, they were real.

Personal.

He didn’t demand quiet.

He didn’t control the room.

He just loved people, and that love commanded attention.

And I realized: He would never have judged anyone for talking.

He would’ve seen the beauty in the noise.

He would’ve noticed the neshama in the chaos.

It reminded me not to be so quick to judge.

To slow down.

To see people in their best light.

That’s something I want to carry with me.

Into life, into business, into everything.

Glossary:

Simcha – Celebration or joyous event

Chuppa – Wedding canopy under which a Jewish wedding ceremony takes place

Chutzpa – Audacity or boldness

Neshama – Soul